If the "light" you want to see is actually TRUTH, then you don't need our help.
That, however doesn't mean you couldn't use it.
Personally, I was really weirded out by the Problem of Evil, and the problem with Omnipotence. Look at those closely OBJECTIVELY and you'll see why us atheists think what we think. I should say, you'd be hard pressed to dispute it. However if you do wish to, take a good look at Way of The Mind. You'll see me get schooled over and over again by a multitude of people about how stupidly I defended the idea of God.
Of course, though, if you have any more specific questions, we're NOT evil, let us know.
I had so many questions I can't STAND reading my own older posts... a barbarian.